The Onion: NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: Drive Fast

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On the eve of the Sears Classic 500, legendary NASCAR coach Dan Amon shares his strategy for driving really fast in circles.
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I wonder how much ... ( 2 months ago by ivefantrance)

I wonder how much funnier it would be if the tracks were really circular...
TURN LEFT!
TURN LEFT!

So, if you win in ... ( 2 months ago by CarlosMCUT)

So, if you win in Iraq/Afghanistan, talibans/insurgents get the silver medal

this is true ( 2 months ago by GerbaIity)

this is true

LOL!!! extremly ... ( 1 month ago by nitsuarocks)

LOL!!! extremly funny!!!!!!!!!!! :P

lol at the rapist ... ( 1 month ago by zeke7steve)

lol at the rapist foiled by skort in the first news story

F1 is better. ( 1 month ago by slaven133)

F1 is better.

F1's dire bollackal ... ( 1 month ago by VR46YAMAHA)

F1's dire bollackal only over taking is in the pits, F1's gone down hill since the late 70's and im a brit and i prefer to watch Nascar tbh.

This is funny even ... ( 1 month ago by GhettoCountryBoi)

This is funny even thought I'm a Nascar fan lol..

there is no ghetto ... ( 1 month ago by kcuskcid)

there is no ghetto in the country u see only kikes and nuggerrzz live in dem places and they in theur city u hear me?

u mean to say your ... ( 1 month ago by kcuskcid)

u mean to say your legs have become jello too?

Dan Amon does an ... ( 1 month ago by jebbNholly)

Dan Amon does an excellent job of explaining the intricacies and complexity of Nascar driving. Unfortunately he neglected to mention that the race cars require gasoline in order to complete the race. Many drivers forget to fill their tanks prior to the race and end up stuck on the track or in the pit area. Also, and here is where it gets complicated, they need to ADD gas at some point during the race or they will stall on the racetrack. I'm surprised Amon didn't bring that up.

then hopscotch or a ... ( 1 month ago by andid)

then hopscotch or a presidential election is a sport.
We must have some standards of athleticism and strategy, don't we?

I dint think I had ... ( 1 month ago by vladimir2277)

I dint think I had it in me before, but after this life-changing video, I think I have what it takes to become a NASCAR coach. If only I knew this back when I was 12.
GO F1!!!

I love the nascar ... ( 3 weeks ago by stunned86)

I love the nascar coach in this one.

"isnt this straight ... ( 2 weeks ago by kookikrys)

"isnt this straight enough?"

You're pretty cool ... ( 2 weeks ago by Sirradal)

You're pretty cool man!

I've said the same ... ( 1 week ago by jbryandaviscom)

I've said the same thing about basketball and baseball, they really require no athletic ability.

also i believe they ... ( 1 week ago by burleson89)

also i believe they forgot the fact that sometimes if you turn enough, you have to change the tires... you know the black round things that blow up sometimes

nascar is very ... ( 1 week ago by multitudinal)

nascar is very popular in the deep south. fucking rednecks. so very proud, with no reason to be.

I suppose that ... ( 1 week ago by JohnsHouseofFun)

I suppose that makes you smart.

"Turn left, keep ... ( 1 week ago by cuzy08)

"Turn left, keep turnin' left, I'm turnin' left, now go srtay, I'm goin stray, now go fast, i'm goin' fast, keep goin' stray, I'm goin stray"
Priceless!

"If theres a car ... ( 5 days ago by ILagAlot)

"If theres a car over there, don't go into that space cuz you might could hit him"
So simple.. yet so genius

this is hilarious i ... ( 4 days ago by tnvolsfan2515)

this is hilarious i love nascar!

wow those are some ... ( 1 day ago by delta982)

wow those are some amazing tips, there is certainly alot to learn in NASCAR driving.

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